Chat with Zara

Semua tulisan di blog ini adalah milik Zara Zettira ZR, dilarang menggandakan tanpa seizin penulis. Untuk isi iklan dan widget yang digunakan dalam blog bukan merupakan tanggung jawab penulis.
Ketik nama di kolom join chat, kalau jodoh ya bisa ketemu dengan Mbak Zara. Kalau belum ketemu tidak apa-apa, tunggu jadwal chat online bareng nanti ya.

Kamis, 17 Februari 2011

Sneak preview of my Newest novel in progress

Sneak preview of my Newest novel in progress Read and pls give me comment?

SURAT untuk SUAMI

Zara Zettira ZR

Sebuah Novel

CHAPTER 1

Dishonesty and lies

My dearest beloved husband,

I know you told me you love to read, although I never really see you often reading a book (and more often found out you are browsing online for new female chat or dating encounter), I still feel the need to write to you. About the feelings I had, have and will always have for you and towards our relationship. Some things you may already know and some you might be surprised that I know. Life is a mistery, and surprises good or bad will always come in our path. With this thought, I write this super long letter to you. Also with the same thought I am taking a 50-50 gambling in staying as your wife. The thought of love. True love. Although, honestly, I start to loose faith in true love, I am still willing to hope. After all, what is life without a hope?

You know, there is a song saying : when one door closes another one will be open. That is how I feel when we first met. I just closed my door, my past, and totally ready to open a new door. And you told me the same thing, I believe you then. But in time, I find out bites and pieces of you and starting to put the puzzles together. Don’t get me wrong. I am not spying on you. Its just instinct. On top of that, its probably how the universe works. What goes around comes around. Everything seems to just fell on my lap and reach me instead of me looking for them.

To err is human. But to keep making same mistakes again and again its stupidity. I don’t know about you, because you seems to keep repeating your life pattern (especially in love and relationship) again and again. You didn’t seems to learn anything nor that trying to fix (your self). You choose the easiest way out, that is to run away. Closed the bad full of mistakes chapters and move on with the new ones. After all you knew you can get anybody and everybody would be interested in you. You knew for the fact that there are lots of others who are stupid enough to be dragged into your game. There will be no lack of supplies to be found as your next victim. And you can just keep doing what you like to do, with no responsibility or sense of guilt.

To me, it’s totally opposite. I see my bad luck (in love and relationship) as a way to learn. Regardless my fault or my partner’s fault, it is still my fault. Because I let it happened. I can blame my partner all my life, run away hoping I will find a new partner that will fit me and my needs. I can hide behind my self defense that it was all not my fault but I just happened to meet someone that is not for me. But for how long? And what will I get trough it all? For me, happiness is within myself. I should know myself first before I can understand others and decide weather we are fit for each other or not. I never run away from my problems. I stay and stick with it until I realized the core problem and possibility of fixing it. I never run away, I leave proudly and peacefully. With more understanding of who I am and what I’m looking for. With clearer step as to where I move on.

I also have to say that you are a true opportunist while I’m totally not. Perhaps that is the different that separate us or maybe that’s why we attracted to each other since opposites attract, right? Who knows. All I know for the fact is that you will never stop looking for opportunity. In this case, what I mean is opportunity for love adventure. Even though you had commit yourself with one (which is me) . made a vow in front of officials (and supposedly God too…) but for you all of those above are just things. I has no meanings what so ever. It was just things people have to do when they got married. And I often question myself , why you decided to be married anyway if you took it all so lightly?

I remember we had this conversation before. The day I found out that in fact you had lived together with a single mom for more than 5 years. I know it was your past and it has nothing to do with our present relationship. I also believe that people may change and for that they deserve a second chance. And that is why I am still here with you. My only worries is why you didn’t think it is important for me to know. Maybe you didn’t think that 5 years living together relationship is special or important to your self? Or perhaps you didn’t want me to know because you were afraid I will judge you?

If you look back, it is kind of funny the way I found out about your living together story. The single mom you once love (and choose to live together) today is the mother of one of talents that work in my project. I know the story trough her daughter, my actress. She was a little girl when you and her mom live together. Yet she had a very vivid memory about how your relationship with her mother was. Isn’t it amazing how one little girl’s brain can capture one moment in life? As soon as she saw me and you together, she came to me and talk to me. Maybe it is my nature to make everybody feel comfortable talking with me. Or maybe that’s what I learn from my degree in Pshycology? It doesn’t matter. I am all ears. I like to listen, absorb and learn. There is a lesson in every stories. And from her story I learn more about you… Your past – which is partly what you are today.

As for me, my life to you is like an open book. I would try my best to tell you everything about my past. Even sometime I saw you are not interested in listening to it, I did it anyway. I feel that you have all the right to know who I really am. Because as human, we sometimes didn’t know who our own self is! Most of the times we learn to get to know our self better by listening to what others say about us. By learning from reactions we got from our actions. Just like a child learning to recognize her parents. That the only people they can call Mommy and daddy is those who always be with her all the time. I want you to know me and maybe give me some advise. Make me understand myself better. And more important, I would really like you to understand my value about life. What made me happy and what can hurt me. What I like and dislike. All of those aspects we need in spending live with our significant others. All that needed to make our relationship a better one than the previous one (that we left behind)

Till today, I still don’t understand why you hide all of your past from me. I’m sorry if I choose the word “hide” because that’s how I feel. It made you look like a very arrogant person. As if whatever happened to you means nothing. No memories no recollections never mind a lesson to learn from you. I believe in every little things happened along our life, there is a lesson to learn. No matter how small it is. Whereas for you, it seems your past is nothing. You don’t think its important and you don’t think it is actually what makes you who you are today. Your past is part of who you are. You can choose to be the same or learn something from it an change for the better.

I also learn, by myself and by coincidence, about your other past serious relationship. I will not mention how many girls you have on your list as a possible female encounter, because that will only make my long letter gets longer. Just a few names that you probably care or don’t care anymore. A few hearts that is broken by you and now seeking revenge. Maybe they have no intention on doing so. Maybe it’s just how karma works. I believe in karma. Every actions will have it consequences. Do you? I believe we were born selfish. But within time we learn that to get something, first we have to give. Same things goes with love. Love is not there until we give it, than we can feel it when someone return our gift of love.

Maybe I love you soo much I even think about those girls you once love (I hope) and the more I know you, the more I feel for them. It may sounds weird but it is what it is. I always have a big compassion towards others. Especially those who experience the same things as I am. I can really feel for them and strange enough, slowly it grows to the directions I could never imagine. The more I understand what you did to them and how they feel, the more I dislike you. And soon you had became a stranger to me. I don’t know who you are anymore. And I really think you didn’t try to show who you really are to me to start with. You show a different you which is not you. And that’s why you hide all your past. You never tell me anything because you don’t want me to know who you really are. You want me to picture you as a perfect figure, as what you want people to picture you. And that’s why you kept running away from broken relationships and problems. Because once someone know who you really are, you feel threatened. Maybe embarrassed. And instead of changing your behavior, you choose to run away. Find someone new, where you can show off again. Someone that will buy what your selling. Someone who will see you the way you want them to see you. And when that someone soon realized that what you said about yourself is not true, you will leave them and find someone new. Again and again and again.

Did you ever think about those you had hurt in your past? Those you left behind just like that with no explanations? Those who were upset with you (cheating on them while you are in relationship with them) and still waiting for an apology from you but end up being dumped by you?

From the day one of your ex sent me the very indecent pictures of you (naked) and a close up of your erected penis, I was in a shock. I never thought that you had a very wild life ever! I am not a child. I’m an adult and being me I have to say I am very open minded. I accept reality. But you let things happen in your life just like that. Without even thinking, I supposed. What will happen if one day, lets say, you became a famous person. And out there somewhere there is someone who have grudge on you and hold something that can ruin your reputation? Or what if one day, you simply became a father of a few children. What would your children think when they saw those pictures? What would they think of their father? And most important, what kind of moral value you want your children to learn by seeing what you did?

Children learn from our actions. Examples. Not our words. Or maybe you never even think about having and raising a kid? You never think about having a family and growing old with your own family. Perhaps you never even think about your future. You just live day by day. Do whatever pleases you that day and don’t care about the consequences tomorrow. You probably think that all the hatred these girls have towards you will not harm you at all. As you don’t care and can easily getaway from them. You only think for yourself and not others. You think you will only have to deal with yourself. You never think about having others you love for the rest of your life. Your life is a total adventure. I have to say, with no purpose never mind targets. At least the first 39 years of your life gone just like that.

No pain no gain. You refuse to feel the pain and therefore you gain nothing. That may explain why you are still single, never been married at the age of 40. Whereas I already had 2 marriages and 2 grown up kids at the age of 40. I had feel and face the pain. And by feeling the pain, I gain a knowledge of what happiness is. How can you know happiness if you never know what pain is? What you think as happiness is actually just a primary pleasure. You had mistaken pleasure with happiness. And that’s why you never feel enough. You keep on searching for something you don’t know. Deep down inside you knew that you are missing something but you don’t know what it is because you never allowed yourself to feel the pain. Once you feel uncomfortable you just run away. Find another pleasure dome just to realized that it is still not what your looking for.

I thought, no matter how bad and wild and selfish your past is, deep down inside you are still a decent human being. I thought your decision to marry me is your turning point. Change of direction in life. I thought you found your purpose in life in me. But again, I was wrong.

I really want to believe that each time you started a serious relationship or exclusive dating, you choose someone you love. Someone who is somewhat special (amongst all other girls you have in your chat list) otherwise you would not commit yourself to just one. I really want to believe that you believe in love. That you did not take relationship for granted. Just because they like you and love you and devoted to you, you say yes to whatever will please them. I hope you did not use relationship as ego booster. Just to show everybody that you too can have a date. Someone you can call a girlfriend and will call you her boyfriend.

I really want to believe that when you choose me to be your girlfriend (and dump the rest of others) is because you see something in me. Something that are different than other you had known before. Something in me that will stop you from keep looking. That can satisfy your ego and put a stop on your adventure in finding the one. I really want to believe that you choose me because you think I am the one you were looking for, because that’s why I choose you. Altough now I realize I was wrong, but at least that’s why I choose you. Because I feel you are the one and you are different.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. You are not the one. You just portray yourself as the one for me. In other word, you cheated on me from the very start, by not telling me the truth about your past. You did not give be a fair opportunity to judge you and learn about you before I made decision to choose you. You use my openness to learn about me, and then give me what you think I need. But what you give it’s not your true self. And that is our core problem. That is why all problems start. Dishonest and lies.

ZARA BOOK CLUB

Terinspirasi dari Oprah Book Club, Zara mengajak teman teman penerbit, penulis maupun pecinta buku untuk bergabung dalam Zara Book Club. Memanfaatkan komunitas pembaca Zara Zettira serta komunitas penerbit se indonesia, melalui Zara Book Club diharapkan bisa lebih memasyaratkan buku dan meningkatkan kecintaan masyarakat indonesia pada buku serta membudayakan "membaca itu perlu"



Zara Book Club akan segera mengeluarkan kartu keanggotaan yang bisa digunakan sebagai discount untuk membeli buku buku pilihan yang telah dibaca dan di review langsung oleh Zara sendiri. kemudahan dalam pemesanan dan delivery juga menjadi nilai tambah Book Club serta kesempatan eksklusif mendapatkan tanda tangan atau cinderamata khusus dari penulis favorit kamu kamu semua.



Zara Book Club juga akan menjadi mediator bagi para penulis pemula yang memilik karya yang layak untuk diterbitkan, dengan menghubungkan penulis dengan penerbit maupun menerbitkan buku itu sendiri dibawah payung Zara's Choice. Secara berkala judu judul tertentu akan direview dan dimasukkan dalam peringkat "Choice of the week".



Nantikan kehadiran zara book club - semoga bermanfaat bagi kita semua!



Membaca itu PERLU.

Jumat, 03 September 2010

Sembari Macet di Bulan Puasa

Tidak seperti biasanya, bulan puasa kali ini diwarnai banyak hujan. Umumnya bulan suci panas dan terik. Sebenarnya kita harus bersyukur karena cuaca yang mendung dan sejuk mempermudah ibadah kita. Mengurangi rasa tidak nyaman disengat terik panas matahari.

Tapi yang terjadi di Jakarta justru sebaliknya. Orang-orang pada jengkel lantaran hujan turun hampir tiap hari. Lebat pula. Padahal seharusnya ini udah masuk musim panas alias kemarau. Pasalnya begitu hujan turun, jalan-jalan di ibukota tercinta ini akan langsung macet. Bahkan tak jarang macet total. Belum lagi genangan banjir di berbagai daerah, ikut memperlambat lajunya arus lalu lintas. Motor-motor yang berhenti untuk berteduh juga memakan sebagian jalan raya sehingga makin sempit saja area jalan yang bisa digunakan.

Hari ini, kebetulan aku ada empat meeting. Meeting pertama di daerah Cideng , kedua di Bunderan Hi, ketiga di Kebayoran Baru Dharmawangsa dan terakhir balik lagi ke Menteng. Menurut perhitungan waktu yang sudah aku antisipasikan, ke-4 meeting itu bisa terkejar dalam sehari, sekalipun dalam keadaan jalan yg macet seperti biasanya. Tapi karena hari ini hujan deras agak lama dan jalanan macet total diluar jam-jam macet yang biasa, maka saya terlambat di 2 meeting. Walaupun bagi sebagian orang di Indonesia sudah kenal budaya jam karet dan memaklumi alasan "macet' di Jakarta, tetap saja ada rasa tidak enak. Sampai 5 menit pertama aku sibuk minta maaf.

Di jalanan, menuju lokasi meeting berikut, jantungku berdebar debar. Karena takut terlambat lagi. Chain reaction. Satu telat yang berikutnya ya otomatis telat juga. Maka akupun mulai gelisah, sok ngatur ngatur jalan pada pak supir, maksudnya sok mau masuk jalan tikus agar terhindar macet.

Supirku , Hasan namanya. Orangnya sabar dan pendiam. Kalau tidak ditanya tidak ngomong dia itu. Hari inipun dia diam saja sampai aku jadinya kesal sendiri, karena dia tidak bereaksi sementara aku panik sendiri. Akhirnya aku tegur dia.

"Pak, bapak lagi puasa ngomong juga apa lagi kesel aja ama saya?" tanyaku. Hasan tetap tidak menjawab sepatah katapun. Aku yang sudah kesel sama macet dan schedule jadi mangkel. Apa maksudnya ini ditanya baik baik kok ndableg membisu. Aksi ngambeg kah?

Ketika aku akan turun di tempat meeting berikutnya, tiba tiba Hasan mengejar, tanpa suara. Dia hanya melambai lambaikan tangannya yang memegang secarik kertas. heran aku dibuatnya.

Kubaca secarik kertas itu dengan penasaran. Di sana tertulis: MOHON MAAF IBU GIGI SAYA BARUSAN KECABUT JADI BELUM BISA BICARA MASIH BERDARAH..

Rupanya seharian Pak Hasan nyetir dengan gigi senat senut . Gigi itupun tidak dicabutnya di dokter gigi melainkan saat menunggu aku di meeting yang pertama. Tapi ia belum sempat menceritakan karena memang belum bisa ngomong. Masih harus menggigit kapas agar gusi berhenti mengeluarkan darah.

Aku jadi malu sendiri. Aku yang sehat walafiat saja panik gara gara macet dan telat meeting. Mungkin juga ada faktor lapar dan dahaga ya namanya juga lagi puasa. Tapi Hasan yang secara fisik bekerja lebih keras daripada aku, masih bisa tenang sekalipun kepalanya cenat cenut habis nyabut gigi secara primitif. Ia tak mengeluh. Bahkan di catatan yang diberikannya itu, Hasan tidak minta ijin pulang cepat. Melainkan ia minta maaf.

Cerita ini sederhana saja sebenarnya. tapi di batin ku sangat mengena. Hal hal kecil yang sering terjadi di sekitar kita, namun lewat dari perhatian kita . Mungkin karena mata batin tak peka lagi. atau mungkin karena kesibukan dan stress yang levelnya suda terlalu tinggi jaman sekarang ini. Sehingga kita hanya punya energi untuk memikirkan diri sendiri.... dan memandang segala sesuatu dari sisi kita sendiri....

Ramadhan 2010

Ass.wr.wb.

Kepada semua teman dan sahabat yang menjalankan ibadah puasa, Zara ucapkan selamat menunaikan dan menjalaninya. Semoga apa yang kita lakukan di bulan suci ini, tidak berakhir setelah Hari Raya, melainkan bisa mendarah daging di hari hari selanjutnya dan membuat kita Insyallah menjadi manusia yang semakin baik dan lebih baik lagi.

Di Ramadhan 2010 ini ada berita duka dan suka yang ingn Zara sampaikan. Agak lama menimbang baik buruknya, tapi setelah beberapa tahun rasanya mantap sudah niat Zara untuk berbagi sebagian kisah hidup pada para sahabat semua. Jika ada satu dan lain hal yang tidak Zara sampaikan, mohon dimengerti, hal itu untuk menjaga perasaan orang orang yang paling Zara kasihi yaitu anak anak serta orang orang yang Zara hormati sampai kapanpun, yaitu orang tua serta ayah dari anak anakku.

Sebagai pribadi, Zara paling menghindari situasi cur-hat dikala susah. Sebisanya, Zara hanya ingin berbagi kebahagiaan. Saat susah biasanya Zara merenung sendiri, kadang menangis, tapi apalah gunanya menceritakan duka lara pada orang lain. Barangkali teori ini salah. akan tetapi itulah aku adanya. Kadang jika ada yang memuji dan melihat hidup seorang Zara itu sempurna, rasanya ingin menangis dan bercerita. alhamdulilah semua bisa Zara sampaikan liwat tulisan dan buku buku Zara. Sebagian diambil dari kisah perjalanan hidup sendir Dan selalu menekankan inti kehidupan : KITA SEMUA SAMA. Karena Zarapun mengalami jatuh bangunnya kehidupan. Suka duka nya. Sama seperti semua teman dan sahabat yang lain hanya beda versi saja. Yang kita rasakan sama.

Singkat kata pernikahanku dengan suami berkebangsaan Kanada sudah berakhir . Secara formil alias keluarnya surat cerai tepatnya 1,5 tahun sudah. Namun pergolakan yang terjadi sudah berjalan bertahun tahun. Dengan niat baik masih mencoba mempertahankannya. akan tetapi takdir berkata lain. Sebagai Muslimah tidak berani Zara meminta cerai . Jadinya menunggu sambil berdoa agar Tuhan memberikan yang terbaik. Kalau bagi sebagian orang diceraikan itu sebuah musibah, jujur saat itu aku mengucap alhamdulilah. Sedih ya sedih karena harus memulai hidup baru dan kehilangan kehidupan yang sudah dijalani selama lebih dari 11 tahun berkeluarga. Akan tetapi YAKIN apapun yang terjadi itu pasti yang terbaik bagi kita. Segalanya tidak aku anggap sebagai cobaan atau ujian melainkan ANUGERAH. bisa saja kita manusia menganggapnya pahit itu karena kita kadang tidak tau apa yang baik bagi kita.

Syukur alhamdulilah sekarang Zara sudah menikah lagi dengan pria berkebangsaan Inggris, seorang guru yang sudah menjadi Mualaf . Dengan kesadaran penuh bahwa jodoh itu ditangan Allah. Dan karenanya tidak banyak berharap selain diberikan kebahagiaan dalam berumahtangga, ketenangan dalam beribadah dan kebebasan dalam beribadah. Insyallah juga sebagai istri mampu membimbing suami untuk lebih mengenal Islam tanpa niat memaksakan kehendak.

Jadi itulah sekilah berita suka duka dari Zara. Ditulis dengan harapan agar semua TAHU kalau aku ini sama dengan kalian semua. Kita semua sama. Ditulis untuk publik karena aku merasa bagian dari kalian semua (teman sahabat pembaca tulisanku) dan menghargai hak kalian semua untuk mengetahui sedikit banyak mengenai aku. Jika ada detail yang tidak bisa akusebutkan. mohon dimaklumi, karena aku bukan lagi milik diriku sendiri melainkan milik anak anakku.... belahan jiwaku.

Kamis, 24 September 2009

4 MUSIM, 86 PURNAMA, 1 CINTA (Bagian 8 - TAMAT)

Sekelumit kisah bagian 7

“Si…siapa nama pria itu?” tanyaku getir.
“Made. Warga Negara Indonesia yang masuk ke Kanada dengan visa turis. Menurut pengakuannya, dia masih menyimpan cintanya pada anda. Dia tidak pernah berhenti mencintai Anda. Bertahun tahun ia hidup dalam penderitaan dan kemarahan. Kecemburuan melihat kebahagiaan ibu dan keluarga ibu. Lalu dihabiskannya semua tabungannya untuk menemui ibu dan mencoba mengakhiri hidup suami ibu. Made mengaku berniat membunuh Evan, suami ibu. Tapi tembakannya salah sasaran karena kehadiran Sofie”
“Tidak…tidak mungkin… tidak mungkin!” desisku perlahan dengan segala sisa kekuatan yang masih ada. Made, teman kuliahku dari Denpasar itu mencintaiku? Sejak kapan? Dia tak pernah bilang apa-apa. Tak juga pernah sekalipun menunjukkan sikap khusus padaku untuk menyiratkan isi hatinya.

======================================


Apakah ini semua salahku? Salahkah aku kalau aku tak bisa lagi menjaga penampilanku seperti dulu? Salahkah aku yang mengabdikan semua waktuku untuk mengurus keluargaku? Salahkah aku kalau penyakit arteritis merayapi dan menggerogoti kesehatanku? Salahkah aku Tuhan, kalau aku bukan lagi Ira yang dulu membuat Evan tergila - gila? Ira yang dulu membuat Evan rela menyeberangi samudra dan meninggalkan tanah airnya untuk hidup bersamaku. Salahkah aku yang karena cinta rela meninggalkan tanah airku?

Baca kelanjutannya di sini (Bagian terakhir alias TAMAT)


4 MUSIM, 86 PURNAMA, 1 CINTA (Bagian 8 - TAMAT)

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Senin, 10 Agustus 2009

4 MUSIM, 86 PURNAMA, 1 CINTA (Bagian 7)

Sekelumit kisah bagian 6

Aku tak bisa bereaksi. Hatiku nyeri, bibir dan lidahku kelu. Aku bahkan tak lagi berniat menatap Evan. Kalau perlu ingin rasanya kuusir pengkhianat itu keluar. Bertahun - tahun aku hidup dalam kebohongan. Bertahun - tahun kuanggap dia pahlawan kekeluarga. Kuserahkan jiwa dan ragaku untuknya. Kuabdikan seluruh hidupku padanya. Bahkan kutinggalkan tanah airku karena cinta. Karena sumpah perkawinan yang kami ikrarkan bersama - sama dua belas tahun lalu di sebuah pura kecil di Lovina. Sumpah yang sekarang telah dia nodai hanya karena tergoda seketaris muda dan cantik. Karena Sofie. Aku yakin Sofie telah menceritakan semua pada Evan. Begitu mudahnya. Begitu kecil arti sumpah pernikahan itu baginya ternyata.

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Teka teki ini bukannya makin jelas tapi justru semakin tak jelas juntrungannya. Made? Teman kuliahku? Di Kanada? Setahuku dia ada di Indonesia, bekerja disebuah kantor arsitek di Denpasar. Sudah sekian lama aku tak berhubungan langsung lagi dengannya. Kami hanya bertukar email sesekali. Mungkin hanya sebulan sekali. Dalam emailnyapun ia tak banyak bercerita. Sekedar silaturahmi menjaga hubungan baik saja, karena aku menitipkan rumah dan tanahku yang masih tersisa di Bali padanya. Untuk ditengoki dan dirawat. Hanya sebatas itu hubungan kami. 

Baca kelanjutannya di sini

4 MUSIM, 86 PURNAMA, 1 CINTA (Bagian 7)


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Selasa, 04 Agustus 2009

Catatan di Usia 40 :)

Singkat aja. Keinginan kita semua - manusia- kan intinya sama. Sehat walafiat, panjang umur, murah rejeki, murah jodoh yang semuanya sebetulnya hanya punya 1 makna yaitu : INGIN BAHAGIA.

Tetapi kebahagiaan kita itu kadang sifatnya selfish...maksudnya begini : kita merasa bahagia kalau semua keinginan / rencana kita terwujud/kita dapatkan. Kalau gagal atau merasa kecewa lantas tidak bahagia lagi.

Menyederhanakan kebahagiaan adalah hal yang sangat sulit karena menyangkut meredam/mengontrol keinginan yang teramat sangat sulit juga mengingat kita semua lahir dengan hasrat sehingga keinginan itu adalah bagian dari diri manusia.

Almarhum papa saya pernah bilang kalau angka usia 40 itu adalah titik baliknya manusia. Kata beliau, rata-rata usia hidup manusia itu 80 tahun (ada yg lebih dari itu baru meninggal ada juga yang kurang dari itu sudah meningal, jadi 80 dianggap rata 2 /average aja maksudnya :) Maka angka 40 ada di pertengahan. Saya masih ingat betul waktu itu saya tidak paham maksudnya. tetapi perkataan itu saya simpan seumur hidup saya, dan sekarang saya mengerti setelah saya menjalani yang 40 tahun itu.

Bahwasannya bab pertama hidup kita isinya adalah pembelajaran. Separuh lagi barulah hidup dalam arti kata yang sebenarnya. Separuh pertama usia hidup kita sebetulnya belajar memaknai hidup kita sendiri, agar separuh lagi dari hidup kita , kita bisa berkarya berdharma menyumbangkan apa yang sudah kita pelajari di separuh pertama hidup itu pada sesama (terutama yang lebih muda usianya)

Zara, insyallah akan berusaha menjaga jiwa tetap muda. Agar tetap bisa berkomunikasi dengan pembaca dan teman-teman yang masih muda muda bahkan ABG hi..hi.. Abg yang kenal Zara dari mamanya (mamanya seangkatan aku maksudnya lol) Dan cara Zara berbagi pengalaman hidup adalah dengan menggunakan talenta yang diberikan Allah pada Zara, yaitu : menulis. Insyallah pembaca bukan hanya membaca apa yang tersurat dalam karya-karya Zara tapi juga meresapi makna yang tersirat di dalamnya. Makna kehidupan yang sulit di uraikan dengan kata-kata manusia, tetapi bisa di ilustrasikan melalui jalinan cerita.

Bahwa dalam separuh pertama hidup Zara (dan kita semua) ada banyak pergumulan, penderitaan dan pengorbanan, semua itulah yang justru akan memperkaya ilmu kita. Ilmu menghadapi dan menyiasati kehidupan agar di separuh usia berikutnya kita insyallah bisa lebih matang dan menikmati HIDUP ITU SENDIRI (tidak trial error lagi maksudnya udah tau apa yg harus dilakukan kalo masalah-masalah datang)

Ulang tahun ke 40 ini menjadi spesial karena bertepatan dengan malam Bulan Purnama.

Terima kasih buat semua yang mengucapkan dan mendoakan Zara, yang nda bisa aku sebutkan satu persatu saking banyaknya. I believe in love...and love is what keeps us together. No matter how far away I am from my Tanah Air...my sahabat sebangsa... we are still looking at the same sun, moon and stars, ya kan? Jauh dimata dekat di hati. Jadi ijinkan Zara menyapa kalian semua lewat tulisan-tulisan Zara agar sampai di hati teman-teman semua...

Perjalanan belum selesai, dan tak akan pernah selesai karena tidak ada manusia yang sempurna :) Jadi aku juga biar udah 40 masih terus belajar. Menambah ilmu bathin agar semakin panjang sabarnya dan tak bersyarat ikhlasnya. Semakin jauh kita dari hasrat nafsu keinginan duniawi semakin dekat kita dengan Sang Pencipta.

Amin
Zara
Caledon, ON
Canada



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